Shift happens......

I made a mistake at work today. We call it an 'event'. I can't go into detail to avoid breaching confidentiality, but basically I did something stupid, something that could have potentially harmed the patient. When I realized my mistake, six hours after the fact, I was very upset. I have been a nurse for many years, but I am still capable of committing the dumbest of errors. Not to be overly dramatic, but my job can be scary!
Once I had figured out what I'd done wrong, I had the difficult task of figuring out how to make it right. I was the only staff member on the unit by that time, it being the 4th of July and a slow surgical day. There was no one there to observe my incompetence, so no one there to call me on it. Just me. And I had a decision to make. I guess it's a bit sad that I even thought about it, but the fact is that I could have pretended that it hadn't happened, and nobody would ever have known about it. While there was the potential for harm, none actually occurred.
I sat there for moment, pondering the situation, considering the steps I would have to take to fix it, and I realized that, as humiliating as it would be, I couldn't just pretend it hadn't happened. I would have to 'fess up. For me, if I don't have integrity, little else matters. I really, really, really didn't want to deal with this particular physician, as I knew how annoyed he would be with me, and I knew that he would be less impressed with my honesty and more displeased with my stupidity. But, I put on my big girl panties, and made the call. And it was just as I'd envisioned: he was upset, and I felt like a little kid confessing that I'd thrown a ball in the house and broken a window. Yes sir, I made a mistake. I have no excuse. I'm an idiot? Arghhhhhhhh...... I hate mistakes!
But you know what? I feel good inside. Just as good as I ever did when I chose to do something right. The cool thing is that I chose it because it was right, and not because I might go to hell for lying. I chose to do right because that's who I am. I value integrity and honesty, even if it costs me my reputation with a doctor.
I may not have been a good nurse today, but I was a good person. And that makes me happy.